My favorite childhood story would be from middle school.
There was the girl Shirley. She was big... not fat, just tall and muscular, not someone to mess with. Shirley had it out for me from the get-go.
She was consistently picking on me about my clothes or shoes. She wanted me to be miserable. She intimidated me something terrible.
At recess I loved playing tether-ball, but Shirley would always butt in line ahead of me and sometimes I never got to play. Other times, I would have to play against her and loose - facing further bullying from her.
Then one day she started heckling me in the cafeteria in front of my friends at lunch. I was at the breaking point. All I could think of was telling her off or throwing my tray at her. I thought terrible things toward her. She was so bad my friends were uncomfortable and feeling sorry for me. They were all significantly smaller than her (like me) and none of us stood up.
For some reason, I turned to her and simply said "I have no idea why you hate me so much, but I've always just wanted to be your friend. I would never treat you so bad!" I got up and my friends and I walked away. She looked dumb-founded.
That was my first lesson of peace over war. As much as I wanted nothing more that to harm her in some awful way, I made a simple statement, full of compassion - and she became a friend. There was no hiding from her in the hallways, no dreading playing tether-ball or lunch. We simply moved on and forgot everything mean that was passed from her to me.
Peace,
Trina
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Wow! What an experience! I wonder if the same thing would work for others, especially for my kids. Sometimes other kids can be so mean – and I keep telling mine that obviously that kid must not be getting enough attention at home that he/she finds the need to force attention on himself/herself by being mean to you. I guess with what happened to you, in a way, that must be true! Thanks for sharing…
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Comment by LiggyYikes. I think it would have been easier to hit her with the tray … but apparently not as effective. As a little boy it was always “fight or flight” for me.
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Bud aka Older Eyes
Comment by BudBullies really hard to deal with when you are young, but there’s a saying that goes something like this:
If someone gives you a gift and you do not accept it, who does the gift belong to?
The answer is them.
If they try to make you angry or frustrated and you do not accept that and you don’t get angry or frustrated, that anger and frustration belongs to them.
It’s something I think about a lot.
Comment by TrinaIt’s always nice to show the other person a better way
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