Comments on: There is a Plan

By: maat45

maat45 — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 04:52:15 +0000

LOLOLOL! Now…you just might be right, there!!

By: Trina

Trina — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 04:33:36 +0000

Yeah, I agree. Every time I look up and say “Why me?” there’s always a deep voice that answers me and says “Why not?” (Sometimes I think it’s the guys though…)

By: maat45

maat45 — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 04:15:08 +0000

Trina, you’re right about the figuring out. I don’t know if this helps but one night, about five months after NIkki died, my late husband asked me if I didn’t ever wonder “Why? Why ours?” Of course I had but I had to tell him I only ever seemed to get one answer…”Why not?”

By: Trina

Trina — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 03:46:26 +0000

Liggy,

You are right, everything does happen for a reason – it’s figuring out that reason that drives me insane!

By: Trina

Trina — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 03:45:31 +0000

Nancy,

No – Thank you.

Your comment was so beautiful that I will never look at another butterfly the same way, I shall always think of you and your daughters and how in a simple comment you touched my heart and brought a tear to my eye.

Yes, loss is hard, but we do find a way to go on, however I could only wish to be as strong as you after a loss. You amaze me with every post and every comment.

By: maat45

maat45 — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 03:07:24 +0000

Trina, I do know how terribly hard these losses have been for all concerned…parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins…everyone who is touched by the lives and friendships of family and friends. The death of a child is, in the beginning for sure, incomprehensible bordering on an obscenity. Sorry, but that is my own personal feelings coming into it. My second daughter was stillborn at eight and a half months, my first…and subsequently only…child died in her sleep, pregnant with their first child…the day after her 21st birthday. I heard that to lose a parent one loses his/her past, a spouse his/her present but a child his/her future and for a very long time in my life after Nikki’s death and the loss of what would have been my only grandchild too, that was true…there was ‘no future’. But somehow we put one foot in front of the other and keep going. I don’t know how…or perhaps even why…but we do and there comes a day when we can smile again and know that we experienced the greatest joy in life, even if only for a brief moment. A few months, twenty years…it IS only a moment seems like but I would not trade having had my children for the entire world. And yes, hours or weeks old, twenty or thirty years…we still miss their presence. But…a couple of weeks ago AY “gifted” all of us shirts/skirts. Mine had butterflies and I did tell her I especially loved butterflies though I didn’t say why. Well, every Spring…when the butterlies beging to make their appearance, it never has failed that one will flutter around me, light gently on my arm for a moment then fly off and I know my two girls have come to say “Hi, Mama…” and all is well with my world.

My daughter who was 21yrs. old, died in Scotland and, fortunately or unfortunately (I will never know the answer to that) I was there. She had wanted cremated and her wishes were followed so there is no grave (we had her ashes scattered in the Garden of Remembrance) but I do have a memorial. We named a star for her so as you will imagine, the night sky means a great deal to me. Thank you for sharing and allowing me to do the same.

By: Liggy

Liggy — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 01:58:30 +0000

(*sniffles*) Trina, stories like that make us realize how precious every minute we have alive is…to be able to spend those minutes with the ones we love.

And I agree…God must have another plan for those young ones. And for bringing you all together. As I mentioned in last week’s Top Sites Tuesday post, I believe “everything happens for a reason”. This is just one of those times.